How often have you encountered someone constantly sabotaging their success and self-development, prioritizing the needs of others above theirs and doing everything seemingly detrimental to their own good? If you have met such people, I bet you wondered if they were crazy! Well, you may just have encountered someone with self-defeating personality disorder. Oops! Well, maybe not a disorder, as self-defeating disorder is no longer regarded as a disorder but instead as a set of ideas and convictions that can harm your life. Let’s learn more about what causes people to develop this self-sabotaging habit.
Key Takeaways
- People with self-defeating personality disorder prioritize the needs of others over their own. That is, they put other people’s needs at the forefront.
- It is not clear what specifically triggers the emergence of a self-defeating personality disorder. This is because past experiences and an individual upbringing influence the majority of personality disorders.
- People with self-defeating personality disorder exhibit symptoms like being unable to recognize pleasurable chances, turning them down, and acting in a self-sacrificing manner.
- Psychotherapy is the most often used therapy for self-defeating personality disorder. However, other therapies include Cognitive behavioral therapy and Therapy/behavioral modification.
What Is Self-Defeating Personality Disorder?
People with this personality style prioritize the needs of others over their own. That is, they put other people’s needs at the forefront. This kind of behavior may be a result of low self-esteem, fear, or a desire to defend oneself. There are several explanations for why people take part in self-defeating behaviors. One of them is that persons with self-defeating habits may use it to hold on to the past.
What Causes Self-Defeating Personality Disorder?
It is not clear what specifically triggers the emergence of a self-defeating personality disorder. This is because past experiences and an individual upbringing influence the majority of personality disorders.
However, research observes signs of childhood trauma or loss in many individuals who exhibit self-defeating habits. Another contributing factor is the difficulty of breaking dangerous, repeating cycles and habits.
Notably, several hypotheses shed light on the causes, and one postulates that these behaviors happen to prevent something else that would have a much worse effect.
From a different viewpoint, people engage in self-defeating behaviors with the aim of achieving another desirable goal, Such as abusing drugs or alcohol to fit in with a social group.
Self-Defeating Personality Disorder Symptoms
Pathological self-defeating behavior patterns are the key aspect of self-defeating personality disorder. These are a few of the symptoms:
- The individual frequently feels compelled to select individuals and situations that probably cause drama, suffering, disappointment, or unfair treatment.
- Showing resistance to or rejecting offers of support and assistance. They also reject any helpful initiatives that might be advantageous to them or their circumstances.
- A person who engages in self-defeating habits may exhibit negative conduct or depressed episodes after experiencing personal experiences that ought to be gratifying or pleasant, such as a birthday party or a new accomplishment.
- They frequently feel hurt, dejected, or humiliated as a result of the negative reactions from other people.
- They are unable to recognize pleasurable chances and turn them down. Despite having adequate social skills and the ability to enjoy themselves, they exhibit a reluctance to admit it.
- Despite often possessing a superior skill set that would enable them to do jobs effortlessly, this individual frequently fails to achieve things that are essential to their aims. An A student who writes other students’ papers but neglects or is unable to finish their work is an excellent example.
- They do not have an interest in and often reject people who constantly treat them nicely. They like partnerships that involve little emotional investment, even in intimate situations, almost as if trembling at the idea of pure, healing love.
- They act in a self-sacrificing manner and assume that self-sacrifice is the only option available.
- A self-defeating person may decide to refrain from enjoying activities or devise strategies to thwart them.
- Ignoring oneself
- High tendency to remain in abusive relationships
Self-Defeating Personality Disorder Dsm-5
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) initially listed it in 1980. Despite similarities to cluster B personality disorders in the DSM-5, the APA hasn’t considered it to be a therapeutically useful diagnosis and has, therefore, long removed self-defeating personality disorder from the DSM-5. Although a person may not meet the criteria for a current personality disorder from the DSM-5, they may be diagnosed with “other specified personality disorder” or “unspecified personality disorder.”
Diagnosing Self-Defeating Behaviour
According to DSM-III, the diagnostic criteria for self-defeating behavior are as follows:
- A widespread pattern of self-defeating behavior starts in early adulthood and can be seen in several situations. At least five of the following indicate that people with this disorder may frequently avoid or undermine pleasurable experiences, be drawn to situations or relationships in which they would suffer, and prevent others from being of assistance to them:
- Even when superior alternatives are available, they choose individuals and circumstances that result in disappointment, failure, or mistreatment.
- They disregard or negate others’ attempts to assist them.
- In response to happy life events (like a new accomplishment), they experience despair and remorse or engage in painful behavior (like an accident).
- They make other people angry or reject them, which causes them to feel wounded, defeated, or embarrassed.
- Despite having excellent social skills and the capacity for pleasure, these individuals avoid or downplay opportunities for enjoyment or are reluctant to admit it.
- Despite showing that they can do so, they fail to complete tasks that are essential to their personal goals.
- They put themselves through excessive self-sacrifice without the consent of the intended recipients of the sacrifice.
- The actions in A do not always follow or foreshadow being subjected to physical, sexual, or psychological abuse.
- The actions in A don’t just occur when a person is depressed.
Self-Defeating Personality Disorder Treatment
It is a well-established fact that there isn’t a single treatment for personality disorders. Additionally, those who suffer from personality disorders frequently put off seeking help until a situation becomes so severe that they are “forced” to do so. This is because they consider their attitudes and actions entirely normal and think people do not understand them. Despite no longer being recognized as a disorder, self-defeating behaviors still follow these ‘rules’.
Studies show that combination therapy is the most commonly used strategy to improve patient outcomes.
Psychotherapy is the most often utilized therapy for self-defeating personality disorder. Other therapies include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Therapy/behavioral modification
Self-Help Strategies That Help to Manage a Self-Defeating Disorder
- Learn some effective methods for reducing anxiety, such as yoga, mindfulness meditation, and breathing exercises.
- Make an effort to quiet your inner critic by connecting with yourself. Do not be too quick to judge yourself when you make mistakes.
- Try not to blame people for the suffering you put yourself through by learning to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
- Consider asking yourself, “Is there something significant I can learn about myself, the other person, or my environment where this is an opportunity for growth and improvement?” as you learn to address and process your painful childhood experiences. This will help you get over the hurt.
- Allow yourself to ask for help when you need it
- Evaluate your viewpoint
- Build a toolbox for a safe area.
What Are Self-Defeating Personality Disorder Thoughts?
Self-defeating thoughts stem from self-defeating attitudes and beliefs. Here are a few typical examples:
- If I’m not flawless, people won’t adore me.
- I must never err or fail to succeed.
- Never argue with someone you care about or love.
- My interpersonal issues are a result of other individuals.
- Of course, I’m always right.
- I ought to always feel in charge, joyful, and fulfilled.
- When I feel nervous, depressed, or exposed, I should mask my emotions.
- People won’t like me if I’m not witty, joyful, or intriguing.
- There is no way to fix my issues.
- I’m unworthy and flawed.
What Are Examples of Self-Defeating Behavior?
Responses to self-defeating attitudes and beliefs are self-defeating behaviors. In other words, having self-defeating ideas leads to having self-defeating behaviors. Several of these behaviors include:
- Avoidance
- Passiveness
- Procrastination
- Self-criticism
- Attention-seeking
- Perfectionism
- Poor self-esteem
What Are the Two Main Causes of Self-Defeating Behavior?
The causes range from childhood issues to previous relationship effects. Other causes of destructive behavior include low self-esteem and coping problems, as well as cognitive dissonance problems.
How Do You Recognize Self-Defeating Behavior?
Procrastination, anxiety, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, and inaction are just a few examples of self-defeating habits.
Conclusion
Even if it is no longer acknowledged as a disorder, self-defeating personality disorder can be unhelpful. In addition, it causes its victims low self-esteem, unhappiness, and depression. Although it is a pattern of behavior that could remain constant throughout time, it is treatable with professional assistance and some self-help treatment. Please seek medical advice immediately if you or a loved one suffers from a self-defeating disorder. We are on your side.
Related Articles
- How to Divorce a Narcissist: Try These Strategic Steps
- How to Heal From Codependency
- 50 Coping Skills for Teens + Free PDF
- Emotional Abuse From Parents: Telltale Signs, Examples And How to Deal With It